Lindsay "jelly bean," Julie "daffodil," & Carrie "scooby-doo" smile for our official Alumni photo at Spring Banquet 04. I've posted this in honor of us making it a whole year and to celebrate our status as ADX Alum! 

Summer Vacation

So, Summer Vacation. That is something I no longer have. This is actually my first summer that I haven't had one. I graduated in May 04, and that whole summer I was working on finding a job. I now have that job, and it just seems weird not to have the summer off. I mean, I have to actually get up EARLY (5:15) to be out the door at 5:45 to be at work by 6:30 in the morning. I go in early, as the traffic is bad driving home to Santa Cruz, so I start early and I get off early (3pm) or I can stay late and earn credit hours to use at a later time, and be able to take off when I want. It is pretty nice. So, I guess that is okay, I guess I shouldn't complain.

So, I gotta ask, what are you doing for your summer vacation? Anything exciting? I want to live through you, so please, post what you did for fun, I'd love to know.

Well, I better get ready to go to work tomorrow. Ahh Monday morning! I have TONS of files on my desk, waiting for me to copy and then send back to my offices, so the farmers can get to work! Are you jealous yet? I didn't think so!

Fruit or Vegetable?

Okay, so most people know that a Tomato is in fact NOT a veggie, but actually a fruit! Well, I have a new one for you. Did you know that a Watermelon is actually a VEGETABLE and not a fruit! Yep, its true! A Watermelon is actually a veggie and is related to the cucumbers, pumpkins and squashes! So, go out, spread the knowledge you have learned, and educate the world!

Bad Day

So, I have had a really crappy day today. I'm really depressed (again, go figure) and asked someone to name a positive thing about me, about being friends with me, and I sent the email to them at 7am, at 1pm I called them on the phone because I still hadn't heard anything, and was told that they needed to think about it. WOW! That hurt! So, I left work early because I was so hurt, and cried on the way home. I've also realized that I sent a letter, like 2 or 3 pages long, about me to an alumni of my sorority that I have never met, but decided to introduce myself to her, and she hasn't replied to me (I sent it on like the 7th of July) and that kind of hurt as well.

So life is just not going good for me, and in case you were wondering, yes, I did think about committing suicide as I have many times before. Sad isn't it? Well, my day is crappy, how's yours?

Points to Ponder

With all the horrible things that have been going on in our world today, I feel like we need to stop and smell the roses and remember the good things, like laughter, so for all of you out there, I offer up these points to ponder and these funny little quotes. I hope you enjoy them...Julie

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are
considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have
branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in" ..but it's only a
"penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes
you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

Why did we put man on the moon before we figured out it
would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when
babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a
hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they
fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put
money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do we choose from just two people for President and
fifty for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're
going to see you naked anyway!

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think
I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes
out!"

Who was the first one to look at an egg come out of a
chicken and say "That looks like some good eatin!?"

Why do toasters always have a setting that turns the toast
into a charcoal briquette?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do
they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked
for your license, are you going to be smiling?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a
stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out
of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the
time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the
bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all
fours? They're both dogs!

Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when gets out of the
shower/bath, but doesn't wear pants?

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME
crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made
from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come
from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have
the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the
hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's you know where?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he
gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks
his head out the window?

1. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully
in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."
--Author Unknown

2. Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a
headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and
"Keep away from children." --Author Unknown

3. "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support
group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
--Drew Carey

4. "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a
desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with
it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
--Jeff Foxworthy

5. "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an
infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even
considering if there is a man on base." --Dave Barry

6. "Relationships are hard . It's like a full time job, and we
should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to
leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be
severance pay, the day before they leave you, they should have to find you
a temp." --Bob Ettinger

7. "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the
lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to
teach you how to swim.'" --Paula Poundstone

8. "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal
skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study:
"Duh." --Conan O'Brien

9. "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway
through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating a
slow learner." --Lynda Montgomery

10. "I think that's how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New
York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just
isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'" --Richard Jeni

11. "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators
would be dead." --Johnny Carson

12. "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
--Paul Rodriguez

13. "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty
and that's the law." --Jerry Seinfeld

14. "Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire
you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to
tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"
--Warren Hutcherson

15. "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same."
--Oscar Wilde

16. "Suppose you were an idiot ... And suppose you were a member of
Congress... But I repeat myself." --Mark Twain

17. "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least
they can find Afghanistan." --A. Whitney Brown

18. "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a
look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of
that!'" --Dave Barry

Oh, and I just found this story, that I thought would sure be a joy to share....enjoy!

This is allegedly a true story, and if it's not it should be. As Beth told
the story...

All methods have tricked me with their promises of easy, painless removal
the Epilady, the standard razor, the scissors, the Nair, the EpilStop, and now
The Wax.

My night began as any other normal weekday night. I came home from work,
fixed dinner for my son and we played for a while. I then had the thought
that would ring painfully in my mind for the next couple hours: maybe I
should use that wax in my medicine cabinet.

I set up my boy with a video and head to the site of my demise, um, I mean
bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot
wax, you just rub the clear strips in your hand, peel them apart, press it on
your leg (or wherever) and ignore the frantically rising crescendo of
string instruments in the background. No muss, no fuss. How hard can this be? I
mean, I'm not the girly-est of girls but I'm mechanically inclined so
maybe I can figure out how this works. You'd think.

So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each other,
stuck together. I'm supposed to rub it in my hand to warm and soften the
wax (I'm guessing). I go one better: I pull out the hair dryer and heat the
SOB to ten thousand degrees. Cold wax, my foot. (Oh, how that phrase will
come back to haunt me.) I lay the strip across my thigh. I hold the skin around
it and pull. OK, so it wasn't the best feeling in the world, but it wasn't
bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am Sheera, fighter
of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire!

With my next wax strip, I move north. After checking on the boy and
verifying that he was, in fact, becoming one with Bear and learning all
about smells, I sneak into the bathroom for The Ultimate Hair Fighting
Championship.

I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same
procedure, I then apply the wax strip across the right side on my bikini
line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching up into the
inside of the right butt cheek. (Yeah, it was a long strip.) I inhale deeply. I
brace myself. RRRIIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind! Blind from the pain! Vision returning. Oh crap. I've managed to
pull off half an inch of the strip. Another deep breath. And RIIIP!
Everything is swirly and tie-dyed? Do I hear crashing drums? OK, coming
back to normal again.

I want to see my trophy - my wax covered pelt that caused me so much
agony. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold the
wax strip like an Olympic gold medallist. But why is there no hair on it?
Why is the wax mostly gone? Where could the wax go, if not on the strip?

Slowly, I eased my head down, my foot still perched on the toilet. I see
hair - the hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I feel. I am
touching wax. I look to the ceiling and silently shout "nooooooo!!" And realize I
have just begun living my own personal version of "The Tar Baby."

I peel my fingers off the softest, most sensitive part of my body that is
now covered in cold wax and matted hair, and make the next big mistake Up
until this point, you'll remember, I've had my foot on the toilet. I know
I need to move, to do something. So I put my foot down on the floor. And
then I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut. Butt? Sealed
shut.

A little voice in my head says "I hope you don't have to go to the bathroom
anytime soon. Your head just might pop off." I penguin walk around the bathroom
trying desperately to figure out what I should do next. Hot water! Hot
water melts wax! I'll run the hottest water I can stand and get in - the wax
should melt and I can gently wipe it away, right? Wrong.

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than is used to torture
prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment. And I sit. Now the only
thing worse than having your goodies glued together is having them glued
together and then glued to the bottom of a tub. In scalding hot water.
Which, by the way, does not melt the cold wax.

So now I'm stuck to the tub. I call my friend, C, because she once dropped
out of beauty school so surely she has some secret knowledge or trick to
get wax off skin. It's never good to start a conversation with "So my butt
and vagina are stuck to the tub." She doesn't have a trick. She does her
best to suppress laughter. She wants to know exactly where the wax is on
the butt - "Are we talking cheek or hole, here?" she asks. She isn't even
trying to hide the giggles now. I give her the run-down of the entire
night.

She tells me to call the number on the side of the box, but to have a good
cover story for where the wax actually is. "You know that if we were
working the help line at XX Wax Co. and somebody called with their entire crack
sealed shut we'd just put them on hold then record the conversation for
everyone we know. You're going to end up on a radio show or the internet
if you tell them the truth."

While we go through various solutions, I have resorted to scraping the wax
off with a razor. Boy, nothing feels better to the girly goodies than
covering them in wax, sticking them to a tub in super hot water and THEN
dry shaving the sticky wax off! In the middle of the conversation (which has
inexplicably turned to other subjects!) I find the little, beautiful
saving grace that is the lotion provided with wax to remove the excess. I rub
some in and start screaming "It's working! It's working!" I get hearty
congratulations from C and we hang up.

I successfully remove all the wax and notice, to my dismay, that the hair
is still there. So I shaved the damned stuff off. Hell, I was numb by that
point anyway. And then I put the box of wax back in my medicine cabinet.
Never know when a moustache might start to come in

Prayers

Hey there! I have a friend who is in need of prayers for guidence. She is currently the VBS director at her church, and she is really struggling. She has little help this year from members of her church and she is really starting to feel a little burned out. She has many things going on in her life next year, like reunions and stuff. She told her minister that she would not be able to do it next year, and he totally understood. Well, now that it is underway, she is starting to second guess herself. She isn't sure what the Lord is calling her to do, and she thinks she spoke too soon when she said she wouldn't do it again. She needs prayers, so I offer this one up;

Dear Lord,

I come to you to ask for help with a struggling friend. She is doing Your work, and helping to bring Your children closer to You. She needs help though. She feels as though she can not go on, as she gets little help from those she calls brothers and sisters in Christ. She does not know if she will have the strength to push through and direct the VBS at her church again next summer. She knows that she loves this job, but she isn't sure of herself, and if she will truely have the time and energy to do it again for another year. Please Lord, speak to her, tell her what path to take, she will listen. If you want her to do it again she will, if you feel that it is time for someone else to lead, she will take a step back and help in anyway she can, but please Lord, tell her as she is struggling with what to do.

In YOUR name, Amen.

How do I?

So, here is the situation. There is a gentleman I know who married a girl who was 7 months younger than me. They had a 34 year age difference. This girl basically came between this man and his wife, of over 25 years, and they split up. They didn't get a divorce, because she got really sick, and he stayed married to her, so she could keep her medical benefits, while she was battling cancer. Their divorce was actually final, and posted in the newspaper, under her obit! Tacky? I think so. But anyways, that was a few years back. He has since married this girl, and they had a baby last summer. Well, their son, I think it is, just died. He was only a year old. He got really sick, and died within a matter of days. No one really has any details about how and why, but there will be a graveside service on tuesday. I of course can not go, because it is such a long drive, and I don't have time that I can take off from work, plus I'm not sure how comfortable I would feel in attending, here is where the dilema comes in. I think what they did was awful (spliting up a marriage) and it just makes me sick to think, she married a guy who is like the same age as her father, actually, this guy is older than her father, and I just have a hard time being supportive (we belonged to the same organization together for a very long time) So, how do I feel sorry for them, or do I have to? I mean, I would not wish a death of a child, at any age, on anyone, but I just can't feel sorry for them, and I think that I should?! I mean, I don't agree with what they have done, so should I just not feel anything? I just don't know what to do?! I'm thinking that there is a good chance I might see them in September when I go out there. If I do, do I avoid them? Do I tell them I'm sorry for there loss? What do I do? I have a "so-called friend" who called me right away when she finally heard about what happened (she likes to gossip) and when I told her I already knew, she was upset that I didn't call her, and I told her I just didn't think about, plus, I just didn't feel it was my business to pass it around, because it might seem as though I was glad this happened to them, and I wasn't. I had no feelings. She then continued to say how she thinks it was an "omen" which I find hard to believe. I try to live by, and it is hard at times, but to just realize, I'm not judge and jury, only the big man upstairs is. So, if what they have done is wrong, well then, HE will deal with them in HIS way, and it is not for me to worry about. So, this just brings me back to, is it okay not to be upset? To really not feel anything? Not that I'm happy that it happened, but I'm not sad either, I'm just like, okay, it happened, now on with my life. Am I wrong?

Too funny!

Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have 5 years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world.

Osama found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from the litter, and removed his siblings, which gave him all the milk.

After 5 years, they came up with the biggest, meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were 5 inches thick and nobody could get near it. When the day came for the dog fight, Bush showed up with a strange looking animal. It was a 9 foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for Bush because there was no way that this dog could possibly last 10 seconds with the Afghanistani dog.

When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of it's cage, and slowly waddled over towards Osama's dog. Osama's dog snarled and leaped out of its cage and charged the American Dachshund---but when it got close enough to bite, the Dachshund opened its mouth and consumed Osama's dog in one bite.

There was nothing left of his dog at all. Osama came up to Bush, shaking his head in disbelief, We don't understand how this could have happened.
We had our best people working for 5 years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves.

That's nothing, said Bush.
We had Michael Jackson's plastic surgeons working for 5 years to make that alligator look like a wiener dog.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Returning a call

Okay, I guess I have finally figured out what my biggest pet peeve is. Actually, I think I have always known, I have just somehow forgotten, because it hasn't happened in a really long time. I can't stand it when you are on the phone, and someone says "I'll call you right back" and then they don't! Why bother saying it if you aren't going to do it? Seriously?! How much more effort would it take for you to just say "I'll call you back later" It wouldn't, and "later" can be anytime between 5 minutes to a whole day or two!

Okay, so what got me on this kick? Well, I was at work yesterday, and found out there was a chance that I was going to be going to our Modesto office to help out some. Well, they kept changing their minds, and finally they said they needed to go and talk to the lady I would be working with, to see if in fact, she really did need my help. They said they would call right back! Welp, you guessed it, they didn't. So, I went home and had to pack just in case, because I am now sitting here, it is the next day, and I still don't know if I am supposed to be going or not?! And, if you are asking, well, why don't you just call and ask, well, that's the problem, I get into work so early, that most people aren't in yet, they don't come in till about 8am or later, so I can't call them. Plus, why should I have to call them? They said they would call me back!

Alrighty, enough venting. I better go. I need to now find out if I'm still helping to plan a alumni reunion!

I hate being sick....

.....so, what is the one WORSE thing that can happen to someone in the summer time? Yep, you got it, getting sick. I went to work tuesday just fine as can be. Went to work Wednesday, and left by 11am. Thursday, could barely get out of bed, I had a horrible cough, a fever that was easily over 100, though I never checked, and a headache that could of brought bin laden to surrender! It was AWFUL! To top it off, I was starting my quilting classes on Thursday. So, I had to seriously do whatever it took to try and kick this thing in the butt so I could go, as it was the first day of class. I ended up going, couldn't wait to be back home, and go back to bed. I got up the next morning, went to work for a few hours and then came home early again. (Please realize, that though it may not seem like much, it really is, that I was able to go to work for a few hours, seeing how my commute is 45 mins one way!)

Well, today, I'm back at work, and I'm almost 100%! I've also lost 3 pounds from being sick! Woo Who! Okay, so it isn't the best way to lose weight, but hey, you gotta start somewhere! Oh, and I learned a breathing trick from our Yoga Instructor here in the park that I live in, and she said, it will help you to naturally cool your body, if you need water and you can't get to it, it will supress that thrist for it, or it will help you to not feel hungry! I'm going to try it out, and I'll let you know if it works. If anyone else wants to try it, let me know, and I'll post it on the blog for everyone to know how to do it.

Okay, off to actually do some work.......