I HATE forwards!

Okay, so, as you have seen, I get some forwards at times. Well, actually I get tons of forwards, and I'm actually getting sick of them. But, I must say, my favorite forward is the one that follows. I will probably send it on again to people in a few months. It always makes me laugh, so I hope you enjoy it as well.

As far as things are going here, I am looking forward to a long weekend (I get Monday, President's Day off, Yippee!) of doing pretty much nothing. It will be nice to just sit around and relax. I'm actually going to try and clean out my car, however, I'm not sure if it will happen, as it is scheduled to rain all weekend. I'll let you know what happens.

Now, on to the forward..........

To all my friends, thanks to you sending me chain letters in 2004:

I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains

I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS

I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer

I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me

I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from Hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo

I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogens they contain may turn me gay

I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonald's sell their Big Macs

I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine

I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account, a sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny, that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...

I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program

My Ericcson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland

IMPORTANT NOTE: Unless you tell 1,200 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will crap on you today at 7 PM