This is just so peaceful. 

These colors are heavenly! 

Isn't this an awesome photo? 

Dream Big

Dream Big: (3.39)
Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband.

An' when you cry, be sure to dry your eyes,
'Cause better days are sure to come.
An' when you smile, be sure to smile wide,
An' don't let them know that they have won.
An' when you walk, walk with pride: don't show the hurt inside,
Because the pain sill soon be gone.

An' when you dream, dream big,
As big as the ocean, blue.
'Cause when you dream it might come true.
But when you dream, dream big.

An' when you laugh, be sure to laugh out loud,
'Cause it will carry all your cares away.
An' when you see, see the beauty all around and in yourself,
An' it will help you feel okay.
An' when you pray, pray for strength to help to carry on,
But when the troubles come your way.

An' when you dream, dream big,
As big as the ocean, blue.
'Cause when you dream it might come true.
But when you dream, dream big.

Instrumental break.
(Dream big.)
(Dream big.)

An' when you laugh, be sure, (Dream big.)
to laugh out loud,
'Cause it will carry all your cares away.
And when you see, see the beauty, (Dream big.)
all around and in yourself,
An' it will help you feel okay.
An' when you pray, pray for strength to help to carry on,
But when the troubles come your way.

An' when you dream, dream big,
As big as the ocean, blue.
'Cause when you dream it might come true.
An' when you dream, dream big.

Let Go & Let God

So, I feel like I am at a crossroad in my life. I have made a decision. I'm going to stop worrying about things I can't control, which of course, is easier said then done. I'm tired of worrying about my job, and where I am going to be next year, or ten years from now. Instead, I'm going to leave it in his hands, which is where it needs to be. I'm going to stop being so depressed about my relationship with the person I am dating. If it was meant to happen, then it will. It is hard to not know what is going to happen, and whether or not I will get married, have kids, and that white fence. I never thought about it when I was younger......actually I always thought I never would get married, because I wasn't popular, pretty, or liked very much. Now, I have friends who are completing this faze, and I feel a little left out, so, I have decided, Let Go & Let God.

I have figured out, that there are two things I can do to change my life. First, start having a more positive outlook on life. What does anyone get from being negative? Nothing. So, I am going to try and find the positive in each, and everyday. Second, I'm going to try and get my weight down. I have a 2 year deadline. What could that deadline be? Well, my 10 year high school reunion. I have gained 100 pounds since high school....actually, I think it is more like 120, and that just isn't cool.

So, that's what I am going to do. I can't control when/who/if I will get married, but I can focus on being happy with who I am, and the biggest thing I can do, to make me happy, is to work on the weight.

Okay, off to take a shower and weigh myself so I have a starting number to work with. I'll post my accomplishments on here for everyone to check on. Wish me luck!

Break from Fresno!

Well, as many of you know, I travel out to Fresno something like 2-4 times a month, if not more often. Well, tomorrow will be the last time I come out, for at least a month! I'm so happy! It gets really stressful doing all that driving. The break is very much needed...however, I will not be alone on the weekends....my parents will be coming out every weekend, which will be a little stressful as well, but oh well, I can at least escape and do some walking through the park. Plus, my parents have people coming out, so that will be a buffer.

Okay, off to watch a little tv......talk to ya'll later...

Ahhhhh refreshing! 

This is something that I get to see every day in the park! Isn't it awesome? I love when God paints like this! 

So true, so true! 

We don't worry about leaving enough water for the cat.....she finds it on her own! Can you tell she is mine? 

Depression

Okay, so here is something that pretty much no one knows about me......I suffer from Severe Depression. Yep, you heard, well read, that right. I suffer from Severe Depression. This usually, happy go lucky, loud, obnoxious, overly excited, full of life person has depression. And lucky you, today is one of those days. It all started last night and has continued on today! Yippee! I actually thought about killing myself last night, not once, but TWICE! And, this morning, while I'm sitting here at work, I'm wondering, why didn't I do it? My life is SUCKING right now, and what in the world do I have to live for? Really, what? I have nothing in my life that makes me look forward to getting up in the morning......NOTHING.

Well, I better end this, I don't want to bore you with my problems.

I"M SOOOOOOO HAPPY!!!!!

So, my friend mentioned to me that she got an email from someone who saw her profile on Classmates.com So, I decided to go and check it out again, and I'm so glad I did! I signed up, and decided, what the heck? I emailed a few people, and have gotten replies back! I'm soooo happy to be reconnecting with these people! I've missed their friendships SO much! I really hope we can keep these friendship going strong again.

Well, better go. I'm about to cry because I am so happy! Plus, I need to get to packing because I am heading out to Fresno/Lemoore for the weekend.

Alrighty, later.....

Interesting....

....I finally got a work laptop for me to use when I go to the other offices I work with. The biggest reason I finally got it, is because I will be traveling out of my area possibly next week, or the week after (haven't received my confirmation as of yet) to help out offices in our Area 1 section of California (I'm in Area 2, in the Area office, I oversee my own section, of the whole central coast, from Half Moon Bay to Santa Barbara/Maria area, and then oversee those in our other offices of Livermore, Modesto and Stockton). Okay, so normally, you don't switch over these "lines" that our agency is broken up into, but I will be doing it. I have was told they need help up there by my acting boss, and then I was told by one of the secretaries in my office, that apparently, the people who also have my job around the state, aren't catching on as well as I am doing this job and are having problems. So, I have to make sure I put it in my file that I have crossed the lines and have gone to help others out. I'm really quite excited about this because I am not in a permanent position, and they could let me go come April when my contract is up, however, because I will be doing this, when I have my review in September, I'm sure they will be making note that they do not want to let me go, and at least renew my contract for another 13 months.....or better yet, at least make me permanent......who knows, maybe they would try and transfer me up to our state office in Davis, to help do some trouble shooting.....that would also be pretty cool, but I don't know if I want to live in Davis.....but I'm just taking everything one day at a time, we will see what happens.....

Hope everyone is doing well, and I'm sure many are looking forward to the summer break.....I'm not one of them, as I am in the real world now, where we work everyday! Ouch! I gotta tell you though, the craziest thing that has happened lately is that it has been raining here! It is SUMMER! I'm used to 100+ degree weather, not rain! It is so wierd! Oh well, I'll get used to it!